Stuart – Drums
Born in the darkest hour of the darkest night of the year Stuart was always destined to do terrible things.
Exiled from his tribe at an early age, Stuart learned to survive in the wild by hitting his prey rhythmically around the head with crude, improvised spatulas.
Had it not been for a chance appearance on a regional BBC wildlife documentary Stuart might have lived the rest of his sorry existence in the wilds of North Norfolk.
He was filmed performing some incredibly savage double-paradiddles on a grey squirrel and was quickly sought out and exploited by local bands.